Drifting through uncertainty

4 min readApr 21, 2020

As for the rest of the world, the situations in the past few weeks have been very uncertain in my life as well. The global health concerns and public welfare has been of greater concern than ever before. The news which seemed majorly political, is now a medium of knowing the where-about of fellow humans and keeping one self sane in these difficult times. This disruption at the global level has affected every human in one way or the other, more severe or less, economic or otherwise, but everyone has encountered disruption in ways no one had ever imagined.

If I were to rank the people who have been affected based on the severity, it would have to be patients, healthcare workers, their families, everyone who is still working while the rest of the world stays indoors and then those who are not in the country they are supposed to be. People who are on work permits or visas that are already expired or soon expiring are also the ones drifting through uncertainty. The NewYork times released an episode on the The Daily on the dynamic situations in an ICU. A pre-med student who was sent home as the hospital did not have enough PPE kits had to come back because his mother was COVID-19 positive and the student lost his mother the following day after she failed to respond to any treatment. Imagine losing your parents to this havoc, and no doctor being able to help make it better, let alone be the child as a very accomplished doctor. That had me shaken completely. It has therefore been very important for me to see the depth of the situation and understand why staying put in a foreign country with a soon expiring visa is safer than traveling back home. Yet the longing for the home always wins over.

As an avid admirer of the night sky, I have looked at the sky in a way that I have never done before. Through the fairly big window in my room, that is leaned perfectly by the bed, gives a view of the bright and beautiful Venus, I lay there every night thinking about the day I can go back home, the moment I can finally see and hug my folks , places I would go, food I would eat after everything is over.

Ever since we have lost an hour after the end of day-light saving, the sun rises before 5:30 in the morning and sets after 9:00 in the evening. I was amused for weeks and my sleep cycle jumped off the window from a five storey-building. It seems like a brightly lit day almost all the time, because hours before the sunrise and hours after sunset still are filled with beautiful, yet bright hues that cover the sky, before the stars start popping out. I spend most of the day indoors cooking, working, binge-watching or sleeping, and I step out almost everyday in the evening to get some fresh air. Luckily, I live in a relatively less populated area and the parks and beaches are just around the corner. A countryside biking in the evenings in the woods, and the serenity of nature washes all the stress out. I sometimes don’t prefer using maps and just trust the instincts to find my way back, and every time I stumble upon a landmark that I remember. So satisfying!

As I take walk after dinner every night outside of my residence, the cold spring breeze gushing through the lawn, hustling leaves of the trees that have just grown out in the spring and the dark and dazzling night sky above, all convey a single meaning in unison, ‘We hear you, and you are not alone’. I wonder if my folks receive these messages from the star-lit sky, the gushing wind and the hustling leaves that their daughter is doing great and has company of nature, just as they do. I’d rather not want my folks to just rely on video calls :)

What is important at this point in time is for all of us to keep our minds engaged, because some wise men in the past have said, ‘Idle mind is the devil’s workshop’, which I think is very true. It is the time for all of us to stay safe and healthy, but more importantly, keep our sane-ness intact and engage in constructive knowledge acquisition and deeper involvement in the nature, sky and the world. Whether we are looking out or looking within ourselves, there always has been a betterment of humanity. The history stands evident.