Is this really surreal?
Unlike the regular articles where I attempt to express my gratitude towards Science, in this article, I will write something from my personal experiences from the last few weeks and the weeks built up to that. Maybe I will also write another one briefly explaining the steep learning curve associated with my project.
As most of my friends and family know, I am currently working on my Bachelor’s thesis at Kapteyn Astronomical Institute in the Netherlands. My Professors here have been very encouraging and supportive by giving me this opportunity and also considering my non-summer project schedule in the middle of a busy semester. Just the idea of coming to a different continent and living on my own has been surreal, every single day! The opportunity to work and interact with Scientists and Engineers who are pushing the boundaries of our understanding of the Universe is a privilege. Like every other ambitious student in the bachelor’s, I have dreamed of opportunities to visit new countries and institutes and be part of cutting edge technological research. Up until a few months ago, all of this was just a dream, but now it is a reality that I find hard to believe every morning. If someone had asked me exactly a year ago about my future plans, I would probably fumble a word or two about my passion towards Astrophysics, but never was I sure of tiniest possibility of leaving my family, home and country to live in a different continent, interact with people around the world (quite literally in the international student residence!), and be among researchers and have this wonderful opportunity to learn something new every day.
The day I said goodbye to my parents and brother and boarded my first international flight was quite full of bitter-sweet moments. I was venturing into this unknown with excitement, be it a change of flight in one of the busiest airports of the world or to reach my international student residence which is over 250km from the airport that I landed in the Netherlands, but it was also a day I would bid goodbye to my family, home and country for next few months. Not everyone gets this international academic exposure at the undergraduate level, at least not many from India. So I constantly feel blessed to have this opportunity and also to have extremely supportive parents and professors who have encouraged my dreams and goals over everything else. It is up to me to make full use of this privilege and make everyone proud.
The first week was the hardest. For some reason, I could not push myself to talk to anyone around me. Back in India, I’d always be the most talkative person among my friends and family. In fact, at times I’d brag about my ‘extrovert’ nature. But here, I could not speak to anyone, except when I had to buy a train/bus ticket or maybe at the lobby to collect my keys. Beyond that, I just could not get my brain talking. The day that I landed was pretty cold, freezing cold, considering my last 21 years in a tropical country. Even though I tried to plan most of the things, somehow I missed my gloves in the check-in bag. So when I got down from the train to take a bus to the residence, my hands got worsened due to the luggage I was carrying. I somehow managed to find out which bus to take and got the ticket. It is surprising how helpful and friendly people are to a foreigner here in the Netherlands. Until I got down from the bus, there was just excitement and happiness, but after that, I had nothing but fear. I did not know which direction to walk to get to my hotel, neither was there anyone around to ask for directions, plus I did not have my gloves which made it hard to even hold my phone. I started questioning my decisions if it was right for me to have believed the existence of this student hotel in an unknown country just by hearing back on emails and checking their pages on Facebook and Instagram. Luckily, I had Gmaps downloaded and the entire city saved on my phone. So I found my way to the hotel.
I joined the institute and met my Professor the very next day that I landed, which was physically brave, considering the jet-lag, but I did it anyway because every day counts when the visit is just for 12 weeks. So the first day was about getting to know people and the environment around and just getting started with the work. I spent my time in the room and kitchen where I would cook and eat my lunch and dinners. Due to the cold, I guess my brain sort of slowed down for a few days in the beginning, and it was also very hard to go out in cold and reach the institute which is in the other part of the city.
It got much weary over the weekend when I spent most of the day on my phone and laptop, doing almost nothing at all. I called my parents and my brother and told them that I will come back in two months instead of three. I in fact checked with my hotel if I can end the contract a month before and even wrote to both of my Professors to introduce me to a student who can show me around. My brother told me to go out and explore the city, but I was hesitant because it was cold. That morning when I was just outside my room in the hallway, I saw a girl walk past me to the next room. I smiled and came inside, only to spend more time on my phone scrolling through random social media pages. Then a voice got louder in my head, ‘You are not here, 10,000km away from everyone to waste your time on the internet. Just get up and Go out!’. Then I thought to myself that I should be responsible for my own decisions, I should be the one writing my destiny. So I walked out and knocked on the next door where I saw that girl walk in, and just started speaking. I introduced myself to her and asked her if she is interested in exploring the city, co-incidentally she was new too and was happy to make a friend, just as I was looking for. We went out to the market and the peak of the city and looked around the entire city and its beautiful European architecture. It was a well-spent day!
Both my Professors here have been extremely helpful in almost everything that I had to do to get used to the new environment. I consider myself fortunate to have this opportunity to be their student and to work with them. The knowledge transfer via regular academic discussions is the best part of the project. I am sure I will come back with a little more understanding than what I left with and a lot more enthusiasm to learn newer concepts!
It takes courage to step out of the comfort zone if that is more tangible and physical. But it takes a thousand times more courage to step out of the comfort zone when it is mental and it is something only you can feel. So it is also something only you can push yourself. Turns out, it just takes a knock and a few ‘Hello’s and ‘I-am-new-here-would-you-mind-helping-me-out’s to make your life more enjoyable in a new country. After that first knock on the door, I make sure to smile and say ‘Hi’ or ‘Good Morning’ to everyone I see. I have also managed to make a bunch of lovely friends from around the world in the international student residence and the Institute where I go to work! Often we engage ourselves in very interesting conversations on politics, food and cultural variations and healthcare systems among others, over lunch or coffee. We all as a group of international students also make sure to explore a new part of the city or a new city altogether every weekend now, which has been very enjoyable and surreal.
My suggestion to anyone who is struggling with internal conflict or something that you find hard to explain it out loud, is to just try. Sometimes, your friends and family or just a stranger can help you in ways you can’t expect or imagine. For all you know, they could be or would have been in your situation and understand your mental state, After all, your ‘best-friend-forever’ was once just a stranger! So just go out and talk to people around you, it is just one life we’ve all got and it is for us to make the best use of it, and strive to make it a better place to live in :)
— Lots of love,
Akshatha
(Article about first few days in the Netherlands)
